I used to have anger problems.

Used to. Seriously. I dont have them anymore. Suddenly, at some point in my life, I became a very complacent, mellow person.

So, I started thinking this morning and I visited a time in my life where I was consumed with anger. I cant manifest those feelings inside of myself anymore. It wont happen. Believe me, thats a GOOD thing.
I realized, on the toilet, that I am a very spiritually advanced human being. Especially for my age. I was also told by a very good tarot reader that I am beyond spiritually advanced and I need to fine tune my psyche. I totally believe her.

Anyways…somewhere between there and here I became very unattached with the negative parts of my mind. The hatred and the anger just started to fade away so fast that I didnt even realize it. Life is life..is life is life. I used anger as a mechanism to TRY and control situations I was in. It took about 19 years before I realized that it never ever worked. Being angry and acting out in anger just never REALLY put me in control of the situation. The minute I let the anger take hold was the minute I had entirely lost control of what was happening in my life.
When I stopped caring, I stopped being an angry person.
Things in my life started to unfold and I began to understand that I cannot control life. Life and reality is a separate thing from me. I cannot be so attached to it that I strive to control it.
Nothing makes me angry anymore. I mean, I get mad, sure..everyone does, but, it doesnt last. Its not something that makes a mark on my soul because I am not attached to the emotion. The energy that I want surrounding me is not negative energy.

My boyfriend and I argue and he always says it seems like I dont care. I dont care that we are arguing and I dont care that hes upset. Thats not true. I do care. I am just unattached from the part of my brain that used to make me angry and that used to make me try and control and manipulate the situation into something I strived for it to be.

I have found now, that I am in more control than ever. Its a very Buddhist thing of me to say..but its true.
Disconnecting myself has put me in control. Hm.

[Edit]

I wanted to add a couple of things…before I have to start cleaning and doing adult shit…
Spirituality matters to me because it will be the only thing I carry with me upon my death. Thats not the ONLY reason my spirituality matters so much to me. I believe either you are born a spiritual being, or you are not. Sometimes as children, religion is imposed upon us and I believe thats wrong, however, if you are born a spiritual being you will always come back full circle. You may be raised a Christian and because of that religion being forced upon you, you feel animosity and hatred for that faith, and you leave it, but because you need God the minute you leave the Christian church you start a spiritual journey that will last a lifetime and it will come full circle for you, and by that time, you will be a fully realized spiritual being who understands that no religion is the right religion, and no God is the right God, but that every faith is the right faith and every God is the true God.