Today kicked ass pretty much. My moms dinner was great and Kelley got me a badass new digital camera for my brithday..ill post some pics from it later.

I am writing this entry about another Intervention episode I just saw. It was great. By far my favourite episode this far. My own father is a junkie. It sounds…bad to say but im so far beyond caring about that stigma. Todays episode was about a man named Coley who was a Methamphetamine addict. He was a husband and a father. I can usually deal with the episodes of Intervention pretty decently..but this one, for some reason, really got to me. Even though my father is addicted to a substance that is on the opposite side of the spectrum..I just have this sensitive spot in my heart for fathers who are substance abusers and especially their children because I was one of those kids. Fuck, I still am one of those kids. Even though I havent spoken to my father in two years I still deal with the hurt and the pain that addiction causes a family, a father, and a child.

I was rooting so hard for Coley and his wife and his kids…and I think all that emotion came from the same place inside of m me that roots for my dad all the time, everyday. I was just thinking about it a couple days ago and I came to the conclusion that I think about my dad everyday. Every single day. I probably mention him every day too..to different people.

There was a part of me that was hoping my dad would somehow contact me on my Birthday. Around 9PM last night I started thinking about it…so I checked my e-mail at the only address he ever knew of mine. The only thing there from him was an e-mail id saved from forever ago asking me “where r u” after all that stuff in Arkansas happened. One word, two letters.  I replied and said “Im home, where are you?” I never got a reply.
I told Soda that I bet my dad sent me a card to my moms house because he knows her address.  I havent checked that mail yet..
My mom never checks the mail so she wouldnt know either.
I probably wont check it because I know when I look through the mail…theres not gonna be a card from him.