Last night my boyfriend and I went out to a bar and he was pretty miserable. Partly because he had it in his mind, that we were gonna go do something HE wanted to do, hah. Well, he just moped the whole time so we left and decided to go to Cafe Cocos (vomit) because Saturday night is Hip Hop night and he has two friends who freestyle on the open mic every single Saturday. When we got here, thankfully, the “freestyle” had moved outside and that saved me from actually having to step foot in that wretched place.

Anyway, after it was over..there was a group of 6 of us, Me, Soda, and four more friends….all male. One of thems dad used to own this warehouse right next door to the worlds largest adult bookstore (lol) and he still had the keys so we decided to go there…well..when we got there..they had changed the locks. So, fuggit. We decided to go to the porno store and dick around for a while.

We werent even in the toys and magazines section, we walked to the back and were messing around with all the stripper costumes, etc and I saw this awesome sex swing. Like any other red blooded American, my first thought was to run right over to in and jump in it and start swingin around! When I got to the swing, I realized I had no idea how to even get in the thing so I was sort of, sizing it up and figuring out how to work it when I noticed something…strange..

There was a man, an older man, behind the magazine racks “happy muggin” me. Now, let me explain what “mugging” is. Here in the South, its a term that we use when someone is staring REALLY REALLY hard. Its not a serious term, just something we use in jest when joking around. If someones looking at you angrily, we say..”mean muggin.” Well, this dude was happy muggin. Staring at me hard with a smile on his face. A creepy smile.  So I turned around to my friends and I was like..”Hey..check out that guy behind me..hes creeping me out.”

About that time, one of our friends decided he wants to buy a sticker that says …”Hooked On Chronic.” So, We make our way up to the cashier and theres no one behind the counter. Thats when we noticed that that guy had followed us up there. So my friend says…”Hey, do you work here? Is it your job to ring me up?” The guy just looks at him..and smiles. Not saying a word. Two of our friends had went to sit outside, I was getting creeped out and I told Soda to lets go outside.

Well guess what? He followed us outside. He got into his car and just sat there looking at me..thats when I found the PERFECT opportunity to get out my camera. So I snapped this shot, seriously..go check it out. He sat there for as long as it took us to start walking to our car..so we decided to stop right at our car to see what hed do….he drove past us, slowly. So, yeah..we were like fuck it..that was weird….

We all got into the car and sat there for a second laughing about what had happened. We pulled out of the parking lot and notice …HES RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND US.  I swear all six of us turned our heads and looked at him. He followed us for about two blocks before he got off our trail. We wished we hadnt turned around, we wanted to see how far hed follow us. We thought about leading him out into the sticks and beating him up. Lol.

Really weird, but fucking hilarious.