I rarely ever write about the mechanics and the dynamics that make up my relationship with Soda.  At the beginning of our relationship…it sucked. It was horrible. I have no idea how either of us  made it through…but now…things are so different. Things change. I believe we effectively went from being he and I…to us, and thats what changed things. At some point during the relationship two people realize where this is going, I think. I dont think this has to be a spoken or communicated realization. It certainly doesnt have to be for most people. But, you begin to realize that you two are no longer total separate entities but that you, along with being separate entities, are also “one.” I think that is when the dynamic of our relationship changed. When we realized that we became “one.” We started to seriously argue less and less until every argument we had we were able to smile throughout the whole thing and you could tell that there were no negative feelings, even though we were having an argument. Thats still how it is today. Its not like we dont argue. We do. We get on each other nerves a lot too. Its just that those arguments, they dont change us so they are largely insignificant and we are able to move past them in a matter of an hour or so…sometimes less. Its very remarkable how things have changed.

I never would have pictured myself in a relationship like this. Where I was living with a man who worships the ground I walk on. Where we both loved each other equally and hated spending time apart from each other. I never pictured myself having a lover who I was absolute best friends with.  I guess I just thought it wouldnt happen, or that it would happen to everyone else before it happened to me. I didnt think I would find someone who would put up with me, or that I would find someone who I would put up with. Its sort of weird how things came to be with he and I. I like it.

So, anyway…
The other morning I woke up to a little box and a note from him.  He saved up some money and went out to buy me a very pretty wedding ring set. Engagement ring, and wedding band. I dont think he knew that it was a “wedding set” lmao. I mean, I know that he bought this for me as an engagement ring, but I dont think he had any idea that the other ring along with it was the wedding band. Well, needless to say..its very very pretty. I put pictures of it up on my Flickr for everyone to check out.

Its strange for me to say that I am engaged. To be married. Im going to end up getting married. Thats so weird. But…there isnt anyone else out there for me. Everyone who knows me and Soda know without a doubt that he and I are so meant for each other its fucking creepy.

Something I enjoy about him is that…he hasnt changed me. I mean, I am sure that I have changed since ive been with him. When you meet people that mean a lot to you, they generally have some sort of influence over your life. But, he hasnt changed me in a sense that our beliefs dont clash. He knows my beliefs, respects them and in most cases agrees with them. I dont have to be demure or embarrassed, reserved or held back. I can just be me. All of me. The farting, shitting, burping, tampon throwing, disgusting, way left of center, off the wall me. And he loves it all. ^_^

Its really great.

Ive put up a new layout. Obviously, hahaha. This one is..super simple but…I think that I   REALLY, REALLY like it. Im hoping I wont get sick of it in a week, but this layout is more personal than most of my other ones and it feels “like home.” So, we will see. What do you guys think?

Yeah. I havent been blogging..or online at ALL this weekend. Im sick. Again. Im so sick that I got paid on Friday and I still have about 90 percent of my check. Ive bought orange juice, zinc drops and a few Christmas decorations. Im finally feeling halfway decent today and I can breathe through my nose..so..im pretty excited about that!

Good news!
I have ALL of Kelleys Christmas shopping done. I found this website where pretty much EVERYTHING on the website SCREAMED her name, lmfao. Everything looked like something that would be a part of her everyday style so I deliberated a few days over which exact items I would buy..and the other day I made the final purchase. Im SO excited about this because..generally..im a super shitty gift buyer. Last year,  I bought her a silky blanket and some other stuff in her fav colors..black and white, and I was so disappointed with my gifts because I just feel like I have a hard time singling out something that is a part of that persons style..I have trouble buying gifts that are unique to that individual. Even though she loves the blanket and still uses it..I just felt like my gifts sucked lol. But this year…THIS year..im really excited about it. I think ive picked out a few things that are really her.

Now ive basically gotta do moms shopping, and Sodas shopping and I will be finished. Im trying to make Christmas special this year…im really in the Christmas spirit for some reason lol. Im gonna get mom a necklace and probably some other stuff. I never know what to get her..shes SO hard to shop for. And Soda..well..im not gonna say what im getting him because he may read this ^_^. I have a few things in mind though.

Thats about it. Im gonna go check up on my dailies like Marie and Kelley and Liz since I havent gotten to this weekend. Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.

PS: We put our tree up and it looks..PITIFUL. I would show you guys pictures, lmfao, but..its THAT bad. So, ive gotta do something to save it.

So, today is Thanksgiving so I thought I would write an entry about what I am Thankful for this year.

I have a lot of things to be Thankful for this year.
My aunt is doing well. For a while there I was very afraid that I could lose her and that another person in my very small family would pass away, breaking a very tight tie that binds us all. But, she was stronger than we all thought she would be and she fought her disease with positivity and laughter. She surprised us all, I think. I am proud of her and my uncle, and their son, my cousin. For being strong enough to deal with everything the way they have. I love you guys and I am very thankful for you.

My mom. What can I say? She is my rock. My shelter. My best friend. I am thankful that not only is she my very best friend, but I am lucky enough to have her as a mother as well. She has made so many sacrifices in her life for me. She raised me the way a good mother is supposed to raise a little girl and throughout all my life it was just us. Me and my mama, ive never needed anything else. And, I still dont need anything else. I love my mother more than anything in this whole wide world, she is my life and without her…I would be nothing.

Kelley. My best friend and cousin. I am thankful that she has turned out to be the strongest woman I know, next to my mother.  Throughout all the trials and tribulations in her life she always comes out of them with a new lesson, and a new strength. She is a survivor and I am very proud of the strong woman she has become.

Soda. We have come so far in the past two years. The way we have changed and molded to each others needs makes me so happy inside. We went from something very very bad, to something very beautiful. You love me, you respect me, I love you and I respect you. We live our lives together. Every dream I have, you are there with me. Every fantasy, you are there with me. You are my BEST friend, my lover, my partner…youre my everything! I am thankful for you…and I love you.

Surprisingly, I am getting more and more excited about Christmas. This is something I am not used to. I dont really remember being excited about Christmas, I mean REALLY excited, since I was a kid. My good Christmas’s outweigh the bad ones, however, the bad ones are just SO bad that underneath any feelings of joy, lied some very negative emotions, fear, hurt, anger..buried very deep. Well, this Christmas feels different. It feels good.

Soda and I have not been able to spend any Christmas’s together since we have been together. This is because every year he goes up North to Minnesota to visit his grandmother. This isnt something that bothers me too much because his grandmother has been the only constant in his life besides me. The only other person that he feels has really cared about him. Me and his grandmother. Shes getting older..well..shes getting way up there. I believe shes about 85 now and things arent going so well for her. Her mind is great but her body is dying on her and she refuses to believe it. So, with that said, I think it is extremely important that he goes up there and spends as much time with her as possible before fate decides to take her away from this physical reality we exist in now.

So I have spent Christmas alone for the past three years. Not technically alone. On Christmas Eve (generally, sometimes its on Christmas day) my cousin Kelley, and my mom usually have our Christmas and open the presents from one another and then we have Christmas dinner over at our aunt Karens house with our uncle Nelson and our cousin Tyler. But, its Christmas even night and Christmas night that I spend alone.

I have alway loved the “scents” of Christmas. You know, the fresh Pine scent. I always buy a ton of those candles and at least two bottles of the air freshener, haha. I love it. I also love Christmas trees and Christmas lights. Last year, I was living in a very small apartment and had NO room for a tree, so I just had this little teenie tiny mini tree that was pre decorated and about one foot tall, haha. It was good enough. This year, im going to get a three or four foot tree with lights and decorations and everything.

On Christmas Eve night I plan on lighting my pine candles, spraying some pine scent in the air, turning the house lights down and the Christmas Tree lights up, curling up on my couch with my special blanket and watching a movie and surfing the net, with all the presents under the tree…alone. Dont feel sorry for me because I just described a near perfect evening. The only thing missing is Soda, but as we all know, distance makes the heart grow fonder and even though I miss him dearly during Christmas..for the past three years it has been some time for me to sit back and reflect on life, and the way life has turned out. And, I have enjoyed it. However, I REALLY cant wait until he can join me on the couch with the pine scent in the air, the house lights turned down and the Christmas Tree lights turned up, us both curled underneath my special blanket, just watching a movie and enjoying each other with all of the presents under the tree.

Tonight Soda and I bought our first Christmas decoration as a couple. A small 99cent snow globe that, in my humble opinion, is irresistibly cute.  Sometime next week we will buy our first tree and our very first tree ornament as a couple. I know that to a lot of people this sounds really lame..but to me…..it sounds like home.

No. I didnt get a new hat, a new bong, or get my nipples pierced. But, I felt that was an appropriate title. Thats a quote from this 311 Video called “Enlarged To Show Detail.” Kelley, I dont know if you remember that part or not but Tim says it.

So with that said…
I have made the decision to get my nipples pierced. Woohoo! I have always been into body modifications and I have had about 7 or 8 piercings, not including my ears (which I need to re pierce sometime soon by the way). Ive debated about this for a while because it would be really bad to have to deal with an infected nipple, but, I am just gonna..take care of it best I can and roll with the punches. If they get infected, ill take em out or try to clear the infection up ..sometimes a small infection is a part of a piercing. Im gonna get em both done at the same time. Well, one right after the other. And, per Sodas request..have a female piercer because “he doesnt want another guy touchin my boobs.” LoL.

Anyway, Ill probably be getting it done sometime next week, after I get paid. Im pretty excited about it. Just the prospect of having another piercing..excites me!

PS. I burned myself pretty bad last night. Ive had it wrapped up all night and I am about to take the wrap off to see how it looks…ooo

I feel a little better. Im coughing like crazy I think the crap inside my chest is just trying to get broken up so I can cough it all out or something. Well, regardless..the coughing is a little uncomfortable. Ive always hated coughing ever since I was a little girl. Its embarrassing. I would cough allll night long and then cough all day at school and the teachers would always ask me if I needed a drink of water. I didnt.

Anyway, yeah..in todays news..Kanye Wests mom has passed away after some sort of cosmetic surgery. I dont like Kanye West. In BIGGER news…there is a “UFO” conference being held today in Arizona. I think representatives from 7 or so different countries are there, and of course, it is being looked upon as a joke by “real” news sources like CNN and Fox. Yeah. They are “real news” just like Pamela Anderson has “real breasts.”

Anyway.

It happened this morning. I woke up to this uncomfortable, grinding pain in my teeth. The kind that makes you want to pull all of your teeth out with pliers just to relieve the pressure. Thats when I noticed my mouth was dry and my throat was swollen shut. My mouth had been open all night. Apparently I was breathing through it because theres no way I could have been breathing through my nose. Generally, I dont mind the first stage of a cold. The stuffy nose. Its the secondary stages like the cough and the sore throat and  just the general beat down, drained, brain feels like sewage stuff I hate. However, this time it seemed to have hit me all at once. I know how though, this nasty crap came on pretty slow. It seems like ive been waking up with a big of a sore throat for about two weeks now, and my nose has been dripping here and there. I just wrote it off as weather change…but of course I still bitched and moaned about it every chance I could hahahahaha. Well, that bitching wolf has bit me in the ass because now, im sick. Gross. I dont sleep well/cant sleep when I am sick too. So, I am going to utilize this time to get some things done that I have been needing to get done for a long time now. Things Soda has been griping at me to do for at least two months. Then I am going to try to nap..or just get off the comp and lay here like a wet pillow, lmfao.

Anyway yeah, ive got some stuff to take care of so here I go.  I just wanted to take this opportunity to act like a man and cry because I have an itty bitty cold. ^_^ Yall take care.

This is the last I will be posting about this. But, I left a comment over there long enough to be an entry..so..here we go..
This is in response to someone calling me a TGO fan. Which, im not. Lmfao. I dont hate him, I dont care that he talks shit about people. The people he talks shit about completely give him the power. Everytime they post a comment on his page (which they do, multiple times a day) it gives him the power. So, there is no one to blame there but themselves. I dont know TGO. Ive never spoken to him anywhere other than the handful of comments I have left at his site. But, you know, to those crazy asses think  any one who talks to TGO and who doesnt condemn TGO is obviously fucking him. ::eyeroll.

Yeah. Im such a fan I come here everyday and comment on your site every single day MULTIPLE times like she does, like toothless does and like every other hack fucking psycho does. What a fucking moron. Yeah, they banned me because I called Chrissy aka im engaged to someone ive met 4 times in my whole entire life a fat fuck, as if shes NEVER heard that before.
Bottom line..the reason I did all that in the first place, isnt because I hate Chrissy, or because I hate anyone on that site. But because that place is a “safe haven” for a select few stupid fucks to live out their fantasy of having control and power as they sit behind some moderator ability. Im not talking about Jenn. I REALLY like Jenn, I think shes a good woman, takes good care of her kids, and has cut out a great life for herself. Im talking about the 13 other dumb bitches on Lavish who wish they could be just like her. Jenn has allowed me to openly disagree with her on her page and thats something I GREATLY admire. She doesnt have to allow me to say ANYTHING on her site, and shes really not argumentative. She just corrects me if theres been miscommunication and its a nice lil debate. Chrissy, Sewwy, Tabi, and every other chick on Lavish who looks JUST LIKE THEM (have you ever noticed that? Maybe its just because they all only TAKE PICTURES OF THEIR FACES) try and bully every person on that forum who doesnt see eye to eye with they do and has enough figurative balls to fuck them in the ass until they all bleed. If youre not talking about how you had phone sex with your pretend boyfriend, bleeding out of your cunt or kissing their double wide asses..they dont like you. Welp, guess what? I dont like them either and I think its complete bullshit that they sit there and try to bully ever girl who comes to that page just trying to have a fucking conversation. It shows some serious lack of self confidence or SOMETHING on their part to allow themselves to sit back and throw around some PRETEND power, PRETEND like the dick they PRETEND to get on the phone, PRETEND like their boyfriend and PRETEND like their lives.

It also shows how RETARDED some people can be by making judgments based upon whos site I go to, or who is in my link exchanges, etc. As if I gave two shits who respected me in the first place. I shit that respect out of my ass. And, I am posting this on YOUR site, Tgo, because I KNOW they will read it because they cant seem to keep your name out of their mouths.

My cousin posts on Lavish.nu and damn near every one of her posts gets ignored because shes not kissing their ass, starting drama, talking about an internet boyfriend, or talking about how she hates her ovaries or some other stupid bullshit. That right there shows what the girls over there are about. The first post I ever made there, pretty much, I pissed off the “top string” Lavish bitches, other than Jenn, who I respect. Since then, they all followed me around to every post I made and made every attempt at insulting me, and when that didnt work, when I shit their attempts at insulting me out their ass like I shit everything else out my ass, I got locked..and banned. Because I didnt bend and buckle to them. Welp, hate it for them that they cant do much about me posting here or at my own site. Theyll just have to sit and cry together on Lavish because im SURE thats what theyre going to be doing, like they do every, single day. If they need to gather in some pussy pow wow over on Lavish.nu to make themselves feel better…go right ahead. They will not be missed.

I think im going to stick with this layout. I like it, its simple..but most of all..it doesnt have a black background lmfao. I didnt think I would ever be saying that..because I love everything black, but it just got old. I had the other layout for a really long time.

Oh yeah. I started my video blog, like I said I would..even though its been updated just about as much as my normal blog has been updated, even though I am going to update in here in just a minute when I get finished with this. If you want to check it out, its youtube/leslievlogs.

I dont have anything to write about. Surprise. My throat is sore and everyday I wake up with a sore throat. Soda and I are probably going to go to wallie world tonight and buy a humidifier…I want a pimpin ass humidifier but I have NO clue how much they cost nowadays. The air in our house is so super dry. Thats gotta be why my throat hurts and my skins just cracked all the time.

Welp, I sent Soda out for a candy bar and a pint of milk and I just heard him come through the door.