Well, I havent been writing much because Kelley gave me one of my Christmas gifts early and it was The Sims 2 Deluxe Edition! Im pretty much addicted to this game and I spend hours downloading stuff for it and even more hours playing it. Right now im thinking about starting my own neighborhood with all of my custom chars in it. That will be cool.

Anyway, Soda leaves tomorrow. At about 6AM to go to his grandmothers house. I dont know how I feel about it. Generally I am pretty cool with it and I enjoy my alone time but I feel sad this year for some reason. Like, I dont know what im gonna do without him. I have to get things on my own, work on my own, be alone all day everyday. I dont know if ill be able to handle it..so..im trying to find some Xanax lmao. I want a whole bunch. Ill probably take one every single day while hes gone just to pacify myself and keep away the anxiety that I get when he isnt around. I do get separation anxiety when I am away from him. Not anything that is connected to attachment issues but I feel like hes been my security blanket now for so long and I feel at ease and comfortable as long as hes around and when hes gone its like..I dont know what to do with myself. Im used to having someone around to talk to, etc. I dunno. Hard to explain. I can just imagine when 7AM rolls around and I realize hes gone for a while. The sinking feeling in my stomach and the dread. I will be ok though. Ill pick up blogging again and that will make me feel better.