So, I am starting to feel a little bit of anxiety about the trip to New Orleans. Ive got eleven days before I go, yep. 11 days..and one paycheck thats minus about 60 bucks due to fucking leap year. Ugh. Sixty bucks isnt that much..but thats gas in the tank. And, it seems like ive got so much to do before I go…

Get the oil changed in the car.
Get the tires balanced, rotated.
Get an  alignment.
Get it detailed, inside and out.
Get four new tires.
Get SEAT COVERS. Im so fucking sick of dog hair and shit getting spilled in my car its not even fuckin funny so im gonna get some fake leather seat covers…just something slippery so that shit cant sink in and stick to it.

I always get so nervous before trips and stuff because I feel like im not gonna have enough money, blah blah blah. Just..ridiculous crap.  I also have to figure out how in the hell im gonna get my laptop working. Id love to somehow get a mac. But, I doubt thats gonna happen. God..I want a mac so bad. This last PC problem has me COMPLETELY sold on getting a Mac. I  just dont have the money…and I never will.

My laptop computer has run into some technical difficulties..so…I may very well be away for a while. I hope yall dont miss this bitch TOO much. Lol.

I should soon have the problem fixed, but in the meantime I MAY or MAY NOT blog from my old ass rickety ass PC that I hate..aka the one im blogging from right now.

Ill be around though. WATCH OUT NOW..do do do do do.

Happiness is not external.

The world outside of my window is fast paced, constantly changing, constantly evolving.  My take on reality is that nothing we do in this life is ever going to matter here, or anywhere fucking else for that matter. But, I will be god damned if I let that beat me down. Happiness is internal. There are no outside sources that can effect who we are. None outside of me, and none outside of you.

I think the point of this life is…to enjoy it. I dont think there is any huge metaphysical conundrum, no scientific or religious or spiritual explanation. No huge “meaning of life” that we all search for. Its right here…its right in front of us.

We are given this. Lets enjoy it. After all, dont you think thats really the point of it all?

“It’s all about love. love. love. love.
Don’t ever let anything be more important”.
- Jeff Buckley

So, yeah, ive been seeing commercials for the new Tamagotchi’s..version 5’s. So, you know me…the Tamagotchi uber geek. Im on the hunt. I went to walmart, no go. Sold out. The new Target was sold out, so im gonna go to the old Target and if they dont have one..then im gonna go to the Walmart in Ashland City which is like 40 minutes from here… ^_^. Ill keep you guys updated because I know this is OH SO interesting.

Part One:

Part Two:

Everyone I meet in my life makes an impact on me in some way. Some people make huge impacts, impacts the size of the meteor that wiped the dinosaurs off of the Earth. Some people make very small, grain of salt impacts. Some people I will remember forever, some I will forget in years.

In the 9th grade I went to two different schools. The high school I was zoned for was in a VERY bad part of town and naturally my mom didnt want me going there. So, I got a special transfer to a high school in a good part of town. My special transfer was for a psychology class that wasnt offered at my zoned school. Needless to say, within months of being a member at my new special transfer school I was kicked out for threatening a teacher. I was subsequently sent to the school that was in my school zone. In the middle of the worst neighborhood on my side of town. About 50 white kids went to this school, a few Latinos, even fewer Asians, and the rest were black. I didnt have a problem with this at all and felt extremely comfortable in this environment because it was what I had been used to throughout my whole school career. Not to mention, my best friend Kathryn went to this school and I was super excited to be back with her.
Well, I ended up skipping all of my classes at this school..hanging out in the hallways, gyms, and bathrooms with my friends, talking on my cellphone. There wasnt a lot of authority in this school so it was pretty easy to get away with this kinda stuff.

One day I was walking through the hallways when I was supposed to be in one of my classes and I saw a very beautiful man. He was definitely not a Freshman. He was probably a Sophomore.  He was tall, olive skinned, blonde haired and had eyes that were as green as emeralds. He really was unlike any male I had ever seen before and I was instantly very attracted. I walked up to him and I said..”Hey…are you Puerto Rican?” (lol, really funny now that I look back on it). And he said, “No. I am Afghani. Im from Afghanistan.” I was a little taken aback because I had NO idea where Afghanistan was. At that point I was thinking maybe somewhere in Africa? Anyhow, he gave me his screen name and said he spent most of his time online (cha ching! I did too!) and told me to hit him up. Cool!

I wanted to learn more about this guy. He said his name was JT. I knew this had to be short for something. I thought about him for the rest of the day and wondered where Afghanistan could possibly be. So I came home, and looked it up. It was next to Iran, China, and Pakistan. I started to learn about his country. I started to talk to him and get to know him, we became close friends. We played “Empire Earth” together for hours and became close.
Over the course of our friendship I would ask him questions about where he was from. What was it like?
He told me he didnt remember a lot about his country. He was born in 1985 and Afghanistan was in the middle of a war. His family were driven out of their homes after he was born and they took refuge in the neighboring country of Pakistan. My friends name was Mussa. That means Moses in Arabic. I soon learned that Mussa had an older brother, equally beautiful although very contrasting in his looks, named Eisa, which means Jesus.
Mussa would not talk about his country or where he came from very often. I believe that maybe he felt his identity had been stolen by those Soviet Tanks that moved through the streets of his home town as a child.  Mussa never had a lot to say about his home land. Despite this, he was deeply proud of where he was from, deeply proud of his family and everything they had overcome. Deeply saddened by what years of war, and ravaging had done to his homeland. Deeply saddened by what it had become.

I met Eisa a little while later. He was not as tall as Mussa. He was darker skinned, like chocolate, with deep brown eyes, midnight colored hair,equally beautiful, and three years older. He remembered where he was from. He remembered his white house, his yard full of bright green grass, the bright red flowers planted underneath the windowsill. He remembered everything before they had to leave to seek refuge in Pakistan. The picture he painted of his home was not a reflection of the pictures I was now seeing on the news. No longer were there Soviet Tanks invading the beautiful streets of my beautiful friends home land, they were now American Tanks, American troops, and American missiles destroying the ruins of what the Soviets left behind, stirring up the dust from the previous wars. By this time our country had invaded their country. We were imperializing them, just like the Soviets did before us, the Europeans before them, and the Moslems before them.

I asked Eisa to send me pictures of him and Mussa when they were little boys. I wanted to see a glimpse into their childhood. The first picture he sent me, I will never forget, and I wish I still had it.
Standing outside of their childhood home in Afghanistan, beautiful green mountains in the background. A white fence lined with colorful red and purple flowers directly behind two gorgeous little boys. A barely standing Mussa, smiling with his hand to his mouth, his blonde hair blowing with the wind. A taller Eisa, with a very stern face, sadness and confusion in his eyes, and an AK-47 in his hands. That picture really answered a lot of questions for me, but asked even more.

I started thinking about them the night before last because I watched a documentary about Afghanistan and amidst all of the dust, the sand, the rocks, the ruins, the guns…I saw those beautiful people again. The same beauty I saw in my two friends who I will always remember.  That show made me think about them, and mostly the plight of the beautiful Afghan people who have been oppressed for hundreds of years and who have survived and persevered throughout hundreds of years of imperialization, oppression and pain.

I  miss my friends. I still talk to them from time to time, and I think about them often. I always check in to make sure that they have maintained their sense of identity living in a place that wants so badly to rip it away from them. They are two people who I will never forget. I will never forget their beautiful family, the stories they told me and the music they exposed me too…I felt very privileged to be taken in and shown so much of their culture, a culture that is so misconstrued here in the west but that I find endless beauty in.

Just a story of two people I have encountered in my life that I will remember forever.

This is a bulletin a friend posted on myspace.
I made a personal response to this bulletin that I will post below, AFTER I post the original bulletin. Heres the original:

Body: Why do we ((sleep)) in [[school]],

But stay ((awake)) through a [[3 hour movie]]?
Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about [[God]],
but so ((easy)) to talk about [[sex]]?
Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a [[Christian magazine]],
but find it ((easy)) to read [[Playboy]]?
Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a [[Godly]] myspace bulletin,
Yet we ((repost)) the [[nasty]] ones?
Why are ((churches)) getting [[smaller]],
But ((bars and clubs)) are [[expanding]]?
Why is it so easy to purchase {beer} and {drugs}?
But so hard to donate 25 cents for a {Charity}?
Why is it so easy to worship a {Celebrity}?
But very difficult to engage with {God}?
Think about it, are you going to repost this?
Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you’ll get laughed at?
Repost this as “dont read if ur immature ….seriously”
80 % of you wont repost this.
The Lord said:
“If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father

And, my response ^_^ :
This was in my bulletin box! All due respect goes to the people who believe in Christianity, Jesus, and all things Abrahmic, however, some of us do not. So, I will gladly answer the questions posed in this bulletin from my perspective!

Everything I type will be inbetween ::::these::::

Body: Why do we ((sleep)) in [[school]], :::Because our education system is so underfunded and primitive there are no new, innovative, interactive and INTERESTING ways to teach school. In order to learn something, one has to be interested in it. Schools do not make anything interesting for the students, therefore, they dont learn:::

But stay ((awake)) through a [[3 hour movie]]? :::Because it is interesting and it holds our interest, unlike school.:::

Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about [[God]], ::::I dont find it hard to talk about God at all, its just that, living in the buckle of the Bible belt, the idea of “God” and what “God” is, is very very narrow and trapped inside of an ages old box that no one here has the willpower or the bravery to break open. People are indirectly forced to blindly believe in something and never challenge it. I challenge things. I challenge man made ideals about what God is. I challenge the beliefs and the believers of a man made religion. Christianity is a man made religion. Most Christians havent the slightest idea about the true history of Christianity and condemn you to hell before you can even begin to try and teach it to them, yet they are so quick to “witness” their misguided truths to you.::

but so ((easy)) to talk about [[sex]]? :::There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex. Sex is a natural occurrence, a human NEED, just like sleeping or eating. A positive, healthy sex life has positive physical and mental benefits. In our society, sex is either talked about in a negative way..or not talked about at all. There is no positive sex education here, only sexual miseducation. American mass media fills our youths heads full of sexual ideas about how a woman should look, how much she should weigh, how a man should treat her. American mass media essentially fucks up our ideas about beauty and sex from a very young age. Sex NEEDS to be talked about.:::

Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a [[Christian magazine]], ::::Because I find the same ol rehashed “modern” Christian babble to be the most boring, false dribble ive ever read in my life. Now, if a Christian magazine one day decided to write articles about the first Ecumenical Councils, the Council of Nicea, The Great Schism, etc..then I would LOVE to read them. But they dont, they are filled with simple minded propaganda…they are filled with myths to manipulate the masses.:::

but find it ((easy)) to read [[Playboy]]? ::::I dont know anyone who even reads Playboy, but, I could say that this is a direct outcome of the moronic ideas the American Mass Media pumps into the minds of our youth regarding ideas of sexuality and beauty.:::

Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a [[Godly]] myspace bulletin, ::: I am not ignoring this one. However, most “Godly” bulletins are filled with simple ideas from one viewpoint. Simple “CHRISTIAN” ideas. I am neither simple, nor Christian.:::

Yet we ((repost)) the [[nasty]] ones? :::I dont repost any nasty bulletins but I could definitely say that this is also a direct repercussion of what mass media is instilling into our youths:::

Why are ((churches)) getting [[smaller]],::::Because people are coming to their senses and realizing that NOTHING taught in modern American “Christianity” has anything to do with real early Christianity and, in fact, keeps true Christianity under wraps because it promotes individuality and deep spirituality. What is taught in church now is a product of MAN. It has nothing to do with God. Read your history.::::

But ((bars and clubs)) are [[expanding]]? ::::Because as human beings, we desire pleasure. Its not that bars and clubs are the only things that can give us pleasure..spirituality and God can also give us pleasure. However, some of us simply arent satisfied with the same rehashed crap pulverized into our brains over and over and over again. There is a LIMITLESS amount of knowledge that exists within this mass consciousness. What the MEN who preach “Christianity” in this modern world would LIKE me to believe as truth, well, I know otherwise and I am not dumb enough to simply believe it blindly without questioning, studying, and doing my research. Anyway..whats wrong with bars and clubs?:::

Why is it so easy to purchase {beer} and {drugs}? ::::Why shouldnt it be? Who says these things are wrong? We are human beings, we desire pleasure. One does not have to relate the consumption of alcohol and drugs to God, but they also CAN be related and have been for centuries. As a matter of fact, throughout history many cultures have consumed alcohol and drugs as a means to build a bridge TO God and TO the divine. The Mazatec Indians use Salvia, the Bwitists use Iboga, Native American Tribes use a multitude of entheogens, “Soma” from The Vedas is thought to be the Amanitas Muscaria mushroom, different species of mushrooms are also used by natives of Papua New Guinea. Research is being conducting now among scholars who believe that the “manna” referred to in the Old Testament was actually Psylocibin Mushrooms (P. cubensis). The physical descriptions of Manna, as well as the cultivation and harvesting methods described in the Bible are identical to those of Psilocybin Mushrooms(P. cubensis). Manna means “Bread of the Gods” just as the Mayan word TEONANACATL, the Greek word AMBROSIA, the Sanskrit word SOMA, which all describe Psylocibin Mushrooms of varying species, but mostly P. cubensis, which are still consumed today. It is social stigma and moral subjectivity which have made “drugs” a bad thing, and in may circumstances if not used correctly they can be bad. But, if used negatively…what ISNT bad? “Beer and drugs” may be looked upon by modern society as completely bad and separate from God..but who is to dictate that, really?:::

But so hard to donate 25 cents for a {Charity}? ::::I have never personally come across someone who would not donate 25cents to charity, but perhaps this could be due to the outing of many charities as false. The news that so many so called “charities” dont really donate the money to just causes at all, but pocket the money. Perhaps in todays society greed has gone so far to everyones head that no one knows who to trust.:::

Why is it so easy to worship a {Celebrity}? ::::Again, this completely has to do with the subliminal brainwashing of the masses by the American Mass Media.:::

But very difficult to engage with {God}? :::Because most people are not educated about God. In this country, people are only given one view of God, one definition. They grow up Christian, are familiar with it, and due to all of the fire and brimstone threats they are afraid to question it or look elsewhere. If I was taught that God could possibly condemn me, his own creation, his creation created in likeness of him, to a lifetime of suffering in hell, I would find it very hard to talk to him too.:::

Think about it, are you going to repost this? :::I most definitely am.:::

Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you’ll get laughed at? :::Most certainly not. I hope that I will educate someone by reposting this:::

Repost this as “dont read if ur immature ….seriously” :::No. I will repost it as something different.:::

80 % of you wont repost this.

I would absolutely LOVE to see someone post a rebuttal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I just came across this radio interview with a man named Larry Nichols who worked alongside Bill Clinton for a very long time inside of the Government. And, Wow. Just. Wow. The things said in this interview are absolutely insane. You have to hear it.

http://www.nw0.info/files/Radio/Alex%20Jones%20Radio%20Archive/2008/February/aj_2008-02-07.mp3

Let it load all the way, and then skip to about the center…listen for a man with a raspy voice. The things that the Clintons have been doing throughout their political career…whew. My, my, my.  I know that recently there is a lot of talk about the church Obama belongs to…that is a grain of salt in the ocean in comparison to the shit that will be heard here. Larry Nichols is an ex special forces CIA operative who worked with the Clintons until he found out that Cocaine was being imported via Mena, Arkansas. He talks about that, he talks about the murder of a farmer whos daughter Bill Clinton was fucking, the farmer was gonna go public with the affair…I mean..its crazy shit. Really sad. These are an extremely corrupt people. There is a part of me that feels sorry that Hillary is involved in this, but thats just it..she IS a part of all of this. My reasons for disliking her before were trivial, menial. Silly. As a matter of fact, I liked her and hoped that she could possibly be vice president. Not anymore. The Clintons need to be kept out of office.

itegoRoulge | diddygirl@ua.fm | technorati.com/blogs/kayly25.blogspot.com | IP: 71.10.5.160

It was likewise around 75 qualities outside, tentatively skimpy for a movies of britney spears having sex night, but inside it felt like 100, because their italian conditioner had romantically glued down.

I guess some of you guys are wondering what I did yesterday for Valentines Day.

I will keep this short and sweet. He took me on a carriage ride around downtown Nashville, which was really, really fucking cold, sweet, and a bit too expensive so I probably wont ever do it again.

Then I bought a lil pack of cute Valentines Day cards like you would buy for classmates in school and I just filled them out without my name and put them inside the doors of some old women who I know live alone around my neighborhood. Even my evil Christian neighbor. I left her one too.

Then we came back here and I cooked dinner for him and two of his single friends. It was originally supposed me, Soda and our close friend, Snake. But, one of Soda and Snakes friends got kicked out of his moms house and was basically running round mooching off of Snake and followed him here so I had to feed his dumbass too.

But, I had a great Vday ^_^  What did everyone else do?

http://www.stickam.com/profile/lesterluigi ^_^