I havent blogged in a minute. My life has changed…quite a bite and I am still honestly not that used to the adjustment and sometimes it catches up to me and its like..the best way to describe it…is that I am in a constant state of inertia.

I tried to give Soda another chance. Immediately I noticed some of my medicine (I take Klonopin) was gone.
But, even more immediately than that, I noticed that it was not the heroin..the heroin wasnt the reason I left him. I left him….because there wasnt anything there between me and him. He loved me, endlessly. But, I didnt love him endlessly. Which does break my heart. I hate that I dont love him the way he loves me. But, I just cant stay with him to make myself happy. I cannot stay with him…in mediocrity…in the misery equation..just to make someone else happy. Thats not good FOR ME and regardless of what anyone, anyone, anyone says….YOU should come before everyone else in your life. Life is very very hard sometimes but I dont believe that God (however you believe in it) puts anything on us we cant handle. No matter how painful.