It seems like I have nothing to blog about, but theres actually so much to blog about that I cant even begin to fathom how to put it into words and create some type of legible piece of writing. So, I wont. I wont go into detail about my life recently…I dont feel I owe some long drawn out story. Ill just pick up, not where I left off…but where I am now. Thats what I feel like doing.

Picking up, not where I left off…but where I am right now. That makes me wish that life was like the internet. For a lot of people life is the internet or the internet is their life or some huge part of it, I dont know where I am on that. The internet certainly takes up a lot of my time but would I call it a part of my life? I dont think so. Would I miss it if it were gone? Hmm..I would probably find something else to do. The instant easy access to information would be missed, but thats what books are for.

My life has been nothing short of chaotic, just a big mess. Its getting better though, because, like this blog entry..I am picking up where I am now, not where I left off.

Everyone knows that I have severe panic problems. Good news in that department..I am probably gonna be going to the doctor sometime this week so I can get my shit LEGALLY…;) ;). Anyway, lol. Yesterday I took notice of something I do compulsively ever since I had that super weird “panic attack” thing last August. I check my pulse, and Sodas pulse..constantly. I check mine every 5 minutes or so..by feeling my neck..right in the center of my collarbone, but when Soda is sleeping I noticed that I check his pulse through his wrist. Its really strange..and sort of creepy.

Anyway. I gotta get my anxiety issues under control. Bring on the benzos!

I just watched a wonderful program on the Discovery Times Channel (well im technically still watching). It is about CIA Mind control and CIA Mind Control experiments involving LSD, shock treatments, hypnotism, and 
repetitive subliminal messagry.
Most people have heard things here and there about an MK Ultra. Some Americans havent. 
Most Americans probably think its hogwash..then again..didnt most Americans vote for Bush? 
I think ive proven my point there.
If you dont know anything about MK Ultra..then check out the Wiki article located here. During this documentary they entertain the idea that it may be possible to completely control the minds of otherwise competant and 
unique individuals.

Also, during this documentary, victims of CIA Mind Control experiments were interviewed. This was probably my favourite part.
I remember years and years ago on the Sally Jesse Raphael show, she invited some guests on that had been victims of some sort of strange US Army experiments involving mind control and some sort of psycho sadistic shit. My memory is sooo fuzzy on this but if ANYONE has any idea what im talking about, and remembers the show..or can find any sort of information on the show..lemme know!!

Anyhow, the main woman that was interviewed on the program I watched said that she first saught help for depression and other mental ailments..things not paid a lot of attention to in the 1950s. Eventually, this led to her being strapped down to a bed for a 5 week period, she was administered liquid LSD everyday and she said that tapes were played, over and over and over with certain specific messages on them. She said she received 19 shock treatments in that 5 week period. This story reminded me of a woman where I used to work. This woman was from Georgia, but had moved to New Orleans when she was young. She was a Hurricane Katrina Evacuee and she was staying at the hotel I worked at, at the time. She also mentioned several times that she was admitted to the “asylum” and had the same things done to her, she never mentioned any LSD but she did mention tapes, and especially shock treatments. I think this is part of American History that we just dont want to think about.

The whole point of this documentary was the debate on whether or not Sirhan Sirhan (RFK assassin) could have been a “Manchurian Candidate” or, a CIA Mind Controlled assassin. They gave evidence that he was, and they gave evidence to the contrary. Something I like so much about the documentaries on Discovery Times is that they allow the watcher to come to their own conclusions.

Now, CIA Mind Control is not so secret. There is hardly a soul who believes that Sirhan Sirhan was some controlled assassin. But why? After all..one of the main goals of MK Ultra was to “promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.”

Do I think Sirhan was being controlled by the government? I dunno. He sure looked like he was under the influence of LSD in his pictures. But that doesnt mean that the government gave him this LSD.
Do I think that mind control was widely practiced and may still be practiced? Of course. If you dont..then perhaps you are being brainwashed yourself.