Everyone I meet in my life makes an impact on me in some way. Some people make huge impacts, impacts the size of the meteor that wiped the dinosaurs off of the Earth. Some people make very small, grain of salt impacts. Some people I will remember forever, some I will forget in years.

In the 9th grade I went to two different schools. The high school I was zoned for was in a VERY bad part of town and naturally my mom didnt want me going there. So, I got a special transfer to a high school in a good part of town. My special transfer was for a psychology class that wasnt offered at my zoned school. Needless to say, within months of being a member at my new special transfer school I was kicked out for threatening a teacher. I was subsequently sent to the school that was in my school zone. In the middle of the worst neighborhood on my side of town. About 50 white kids went to this school, a few Latinos, even fewer Asians, and the rest were black. I didnt have a problem with this at all and felt extremely comfortable in this environment because it was what I had been used to throughout my whole school career. Not to mention, my best friend Kathryn went to this school and I was super excited to be back with her.
Well, I ended up skipping all of my classes at this school..hanging out in the hallways, gyms, and bathrooms with my friends, talking on my cellphone. There wasnt a lot of authority in this school so it was pretty easy to get away with this kinda stuff.

One day I was walking through the hallways when I was supposed to be in one of my classes and I saw a very beautiful man. He was definitely not a Freshman. He was probably a Sophomore.  He was tall, olive skinned, blonde haired and had eyes that were as green as emeralds. He really was unlike any male I had ever seen before and I was instantly very attracted. I walked up to him and I said..”Hey…are you Puerto Rican?” (lol, really funny now that I look back on it). And he said, “No. I am Afghani. Im from Afghanistan.” I was a little taken aback because I had NO idea where Afghanistan was. At that point I was thinking maybe somewhere in Africa? Anyhow, he gave me his screen name and said he spent most of his time online (cha ching! I did too!) and told me to hit him up. Cool!

I wanted to learn more about this guy. He said his name was JT. I knew this had to be short for something. I thought about him for the rest of the day and wondered where Afghanistan could possibly be. So I came home, and looked it up. It was next to Iran, China, and Pakistan. I started to learn about his country. I started to talk to him and get to know him, we became close friends. We played “Empire Earth” together for hours and became close.
Over the course of our friendship I would ask him questions about where he was from. What was it like?
He told me he didnt remember a lot about his country. He was born in 1985 and Afghanistan was in the middle of a war. His family were driven out of their homes after he was born and they took refuge in the neighboring country of Pakistan. My friends name was Mussa. That means Moses in Arabic. I soon learned that Mussa had an older brother, equally beautiful although very contrasting in his looks, named Eisa, which means Jesus.
Mussa would not talk about his country or where he came from very often. I believe that maybe he felt his identity had been stolen by those Soviet Tanks that moved through the streets of his home town as a child.  Mussa never had a lot to say about his home land. Despite this, he was deeply proud of where he was from, deeply proud of his family and everything they had overcome. Deeply saddened by what years of war, and ravaging had done to his homeland. Deeply saddened by what it had become.

I met Eisa a little while later. He was not as tall as Mussa. He was darker skinned, like chocolate, with deep brown eyes, midnight colored hair,equally beautiful, and three years older. He remembered where he was from. He remembered his white house, his yard full of bright green grass, the bright red flowers planted underneath the windowsill. He remembered everything before they had to leave to seek refuge in Pakistan. The picture he painted of his home was not a reflection of the pictures I was now seeing on the news. No longer were there Soviet Tanks invading the beautiful streets of my beautiful friends home land, they were now American Tanks, American troops, and American missiles destroying the ruins of what the Soviets left behind, stirring up the dust from the previous wars. By this time our country had invaded their country. We were imperializing them, just like the Soviets did before us, the Europeans before them, and the Moslems before them.

I asked Eisa to send me pictures of him and Mussa when they were little boys. I wanted to see a glimpse into their childhood. The first picture he sent me, I will never forget, and I wish I still had it.
Standing outside of their childhood home in Afghanistan, beautiful green mountains in the background. A white fence lined with colorful red and purple flowers directly behind two gorgeous little boys. A barely standing Mussa, smiling with his hand to his mouth, his blonde hair blowing with the wind. A taller Eisa, with a very stern face, sadness and confusion in his eyes, and an AK-47 in his hands. That picture really answered a lot of questions for me, but asked even more.

I started thinking about them the night before last because I watched a documentary about Afghanistan and amidst all of the dust, the sand, the rocks, the ruins, the guns…I saw those beautiful people again. The same beauty I saw in my two friends who I will always remember.  That show made me think about them, and mostly the plight of the beautiful Afghan people who have been oppressed for hundreds of years and who have survived and persevered throughout hundreds of years of imperialization, oppression and pain.

I  miss my friends. I still talk to them from time to time, and I think about them often. I always check in to make sure that they have maintained their sense of identity living in a place that wants so badly to rip it away from them. They are two people who I will never forget. I will never forget their beautiful family, the stories they told me and the music they exposed me too…I felt very privileged to be taken in and shown so much of their culture, a culture that is so misconstrued here in the west but that I find endless beauty in.

Just a story of two people I have encountered in my life that I will remember forever.

After finding out that Barack Obama won the South Carolina Primaries last night (woohoo!) I found out that Hillary Clinton was due to be in Nashville, about 10 minutes away from me, in about one hour.

So, of course, I wanted to go. She was supposed to be speaking at the TSU Gymnasium around 8:30pm and we didnt get on the road till about 8:00PM because it takes Soda 30 fucking minutes before hes ever ready to go anywhere.

We finally get to TSU and from the looks of things..theres no one fuckin there. No one. But, we get inside..and the line to get into the gym to see Hillary is like…around the whole school it seems. So, we took our place at the end of the line and BAM it starts moving quick and it looks like were gonna get inside to see this bitch. RIGHT as we got to the door of the auditorium, we were rerouted to the stairwell and told by the police that we could go upstairs. Now, when I say we…it was me, Soda and about 20 other people probably.
The Secret Service was one step ahead of us. They locked the doors upstairs before we could get to it. The cops came back into the stairwell and told us all we would have to leave. I told the cop “Nice to see our Metro Police know exactly whats going on here!” Sarcastically, of course. And, well, he muttered some obscenities under his breath and then walked away. When the cops walked away..the Hillary Clinton campaign volunteers shouted “GO GO GO GO !!” and we all went hauling ass down one hallway and about 10 people got into the auditorium. As SOON as Soda and I were about to walk through..a female cop blocked the door and told us that the Secret Service was NOT ALLOWING ANYONE ELSE THROUGH at this time.
So, needless to say we were all forced to watch Hillary Clinton speak from right outside the auditorium doors. What a shame. I stayed for about 3 minutes of her speech before I realized she was saying a bunch of nothing..and left.

How fun!
Pictures and videos soon.

Last night my boyfriend and I went out to a bar and he was pretty miserable. Partly because he had it in his mind, that we were gonna go do something HE wanted to do, hah. Well, he just moped the whole time so we left and decided to go to Cafe Cocos (vomit) because Saturday night is Hip Hop night and he has two friends who freestyle on the open mic every single Saturday. When we got here, thankfully, the “freestyle” had moved outside and that saved me from actually having to step foot in that wretched place.

Anyway, after it was over..there was a group of 6 of us, Me, Soda, and four more friends….all male. One of thems dad used to own this warehouse right next door to the worlds largest adult bookstore (lol) and he still had the keys so we decided to go there…well..when we got there..they had changed the locks. So, fuggit. We decided to go to the porno store and dick around for a while.

We werent even in the toys and magazines section, we walked to the back and were messing around with all the stripper costumes, etc and I saw this awesome sex swing. Like any other red blooded American, my first thought was to run right over to in and jump in it and start swingin around! When I got to the swing, I realized I had no idea how to even get in the thing so I was sort of, sizing it up and figuring out how to work it when I noticed something…strange..

There was a man, an older man, behind the magazine racks “happy muggin” me. Now, let me explain what “mugging” is. Here in the South, its a term that we use when someone is staring REALLY REALLY hard. Its not a serious term, just something we use in jest when joking around. If someones looking at you angrily, we say..”mean muggin.” Well, this dude was happy muggin. Staring at me hard with a smile on his face. A creepy smile.  So I turned around to my friends and I was like..”Hey..check out that guy behind me..hes creeping me out.”

About that time, one of our friends decided he wants to buy a sticker that says …”Hooked On Chronic.” So, We make our way up to the cashier and theres no one behind the counter. Thats when we noticed that that guy had followed us up there. So my friend says…”Hey, do you work here? Is it your job to ring me up?” The guy just looks at him..and smiles. Not saying a word. Two of our friends had went to sit outside, I was getting creeped out and I told Soda to lets go outside.

Well guess what? He followed us outside. He got into his car and just sat there looking at me..thats when I found the PERFECT opportunity to get out my camera. So I snapped this shot, seriously..go check it out. He sat there for as long as it took us to start walking to our car..so we decided to stop right at our car to see what hed do….he drove past us, slowly. So, yeah..we were like fuck it..that was weird….

We all got into the car and sat there for a second laughing about what had happened. We pulled out of the parking lot and notice …HES RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND US.  I swear all six of us turned our heads and looked at him. He followed us for about two blocks before he got off our trail. We wished we hadnt turned around, we wanted to see how far hed follow us. We thought about leading him out into the sticks and beating him up. Lol.

Really weird, but fucking hilarious.

Its not gonna happen. Why, you ask?

My blog got rejected due to excessive foul language. Thats cool..thats fine and dandy. FUCK THAT, hahahaa. I pay blog on another site of mine thats much, much more family friendly than this site.

Actually, the one thing that had me bummed about the whole paid blogging on this domain would be that I may have to screen myself and not be “me.” Which, I would have really hate to have done, but when you need the money..you need the money.
Luckily, the google page rank for my other site went up to TWO! So now, I am able to get ops to write ads that pay a bit more so I can make up for all the lost income by writing just one ad a day..so if I choose to write more..ill make more. So, in about a month ill be making a decent amount of cash again. Kickass.
Everything worked out perfectly. A couple days before this blog got rejected, my page rank on my other blog went up, allowing me to supplement my lost income with that blog, which was what I was gonna do with this blog…does that make sense? I hope so, because I dont know any other real way to explain it -.-.

Well…I dont have anything else to write about, really.. oh, wait..yes I do.

I think im getting firsthand experience on how fucked up our health care system is in this country.  I havent seen “Sicko” and im really, not educated at all on the subject of health care in our country, but I know a few things. My boyfriend is pretty educated on it and he doesnt have very good things to say about it, and ive got an online friend named Liz who also rarely, if ever, has good things to say about the health care system in the United States. So,  now, with that said..ive got a story to tell.

I am uninsured. Thats right, I do not have health insurance or any other kind of insurance for that matter. So, apparently that complicates things a bit when it comes to health care. Why? I dont know. There are a lot of people in this country that cannot afford insurance, should they be less of a priority than those who do have insurance? Definitely not,  but it sure seems that way. A couple weeks ago when I had to go to the hospital due to my panic attack they told me about a program here that helps uninsured patients to get health care at an affordable price. I was super excited about this because not only could I get health care at a decent price, but I could also get my prescriptions filled at a very decent price also. I thought that this program was fucking awesome. Just what this country needed. Like I said, there are tons of people who just cant afford health insurance and unfortunately, they are under prioritized. I know that I will probably never have real health insurance for a couple of reasons. Ill never work a job that gives it to me because im not the kind of person that can deal with a 9-5 job so I will always be doing “odd” jobs that more than likely dont offer insurance.  So, yeah, I was excited about this program.

Basically, you enroll in the program and they send you a packet of information that tells you the health clinic you are assigned to, the pharmacy you are assigned to, etc. For patients that make a really, really low amount of money you have to sign up with the programs pharmacy, and for those who make an average amount of money you can get them filled wherever. I make an average amount of money and the clinic I was assigned to is also a pharmacy so I could get them written there by my doctor, and filled there.

The time came today for me to go visit my assigned clinic for the first time to meet with a doctor as a follow-up appointment to my ER visit and I needed a new prescription written for one of my medications, Ativan.
So, I go into the clinic and I tell them why im there, etc

“Hey im here as a walk in, I was just enrolled in the ************ program and they assigned you guys as my clinic, im here to see a doctor for a follow-up appointment to an ER visit I had a couple weeks ago, and to get some new prescriptions written for my medication.”

“Baby we aint got no time for you today we already have too many patients you gon have to come back tomorrow, well, wait, we aint got no walk in doctor for tomorrow you gon have to come back on Thursday.”

“Ok, cool! Thanks”

“Wait..whatchu here for again?”

“Im here because I was just enrolled in the ********** program and they assigned you guys as my clinic and I need to meet with a doctor to get some new prescriptions for my medications because one of them has run out”

“What medication?”

“Ativan..Lorazepam.”

“Baby aint nobody here gon write you a prescription for that.”

“What? Why? I was assigned here by ********, why would they direct me here?”

“I dont know. But nobody here gon write you a prescription for that.”

“Uh, ok. Thanks.”

And, then I walked out. Pissed as hell. Its not enough that those who arent insured are treated as lower class and have to fight to get medical care. But, when a program finally comes together to serve those who arent insured, its a piece of shit too. A piece of shit that is unorganized and has no real clue what the fuck they are doing.
When I was enrolled in this program they gave me a care coordinator to call in case I had any problems. I called her a couple times last week to ask questions about what I was supposed to do when I went in for my initial visit to my assigned clinic so I wouldnt have to deal with problems like this, I left her three messages and she never called me back. Thats cool. Maybe she was busy with her job. Oh yeah, her job is to call me back. So today when I went into the clinic, I had no idea what I was supposed to do but I figured it couldnt be that hard. I took all of my paperwork, prescriptions, medication bottles, etc. They didnt care to look at any of that stuff and just sent me right out the door within 2 minutes of my arrival.
Why would this program assign me to a clinic that was not able to write and fill my prescriptions? They knew my medical history. They have to study the patients medical history in order to figure out what clinic to assign to them, etc. So, knowing my medical history and knowing that it is mental health, why wouldnt they assign me to a mental health clinic where my problems could be dealt with accordingly and why in the fuck is the ER speaking so highly of, and helping me enroll into a program that isnt worth a damn? So, I came home and made a few calls. I called my care coordinator once again and left a message, then I called my clinic again and spoke with the head nurse there. I explained to her what happened and she said theres absolutely no reason why this should have happened. That this clinic is listed as a mental health facility and that prescriptions like mine are filled there everyday so she has no idea who I spoke with (it was a nurse) and why they blatantly lied to me like that. I had no idea either. She told me to come back Thursday morning as early as possible (around 7AM) as a walk in and talk with a doctor and everything should be fine.

Now, ive still got a smidgen of hope for this program. My first impression has given me a fucked up view about them and it has just showed me a bit about how mixed up and unorganized our health care system in this country is. Hopefully they will redeem themselves, but im not keeping my hopes up for that one. We will see.

Ill keep you updated.

So, last night..my boyfriend got the bright idea that it would be fun/cool to take my cousin and I to a house party. A hip hop house party. I was all for it, I thought it would be pretty funny and I was right. It was fucking HILARIOUS.  The party was filled with lame white kids and wanna be hippies, with the exception of me, my boyfriend, Kelley, and one of Sodas friends, Abe.

The night was..pretty fun. At least, I was having a good time. Watching people dance like utter morons really entertained me and it seemed to be entertaining Kelley too. We did our usual routine. Hang out together, away from everyone..and make fun of them silently, but not seriously. I think as an interesting side note I should add that at one point I had to piss really bad.so..we went to the bathroom and there was no toilet paper so I just wiped with some shirt I found on the ground. Kelley wont admit this, but she did too.

Anyway..I decided to dance a bit so we moved into the room where everyone was dancing and I danced on and off, my boyfriend danced on and off and VERY HILARIOUSLY might I add. Picture a white guy dancing to rap. Yeah, you just pictured my boyfriend. At one point I tried to dance with him and he clobbered my feet..seriously.

Then…outta nowhere.. this blonde girl walks over to Kelley and asks her to dance. She says no and the girl proceeds to start talking shit. Now, this bitch was drunk..very very drunk…way over her limit. She said something like “I heard youve been making fun of the way people dance? Thats not very cool, yadda yadda.” I have no idea what Kelley said to her but when she turned around she looked very annoyed. I was like “Did that bitch just try to get an attitude with you?” Kelley said “YEAH!” So, that was my cue to get in her face and be as intimidating as possible.

“Who really gives a fuck if she was making fun of the way people dance? If everyones having a decent time, who fucking cares?”
No response from her. She just stares at me. So I turned around and said..
“I hope she wasnt trying to talk shit to my fucking cousin because ive had to whoop bitches asses before for doing this and id hate to do it again.”
I turn back around to face her.
“Keep in mind your drunk, im not. Think about that real hard before you decide to say anything else to me.”
Then here comes Mr. Saves the day Soda. He was stoned, and paranoid that id end up getting the cops called on us because, I probably would have and he tells me we should leave.
Some other brunette girl came up and started talking to me, what she said was insignificant because she was being nice and before you know it, the original blonde whore who started the whole drama was nowhere to be seen.
Sodas freaking out and wouldnt let go of my arm. He made us leave.
Too bad, I wanted to bust out some West Nashville on them Belmont Bitches.

What bewilders me is that the last time a scenario similar to this happened, it was also perpetrated by girls from rich neighborhoods…practically the same neighborhoods. The last time I think the whores were from around the Belmont/Hillsboro Village area and this time they were just from Belmont. I think it has something to do with Kelley and I obviously not being from around there, and not giving a fuck about socializing with them, etc. And you know how girls are, they feel threatened by lame crap like that. Im sort of glad that the situation didnt escalate to that of The 5 Spot where a huge physical fight broke out..but DAMN that woulda been awesome.