Over the course of my use and subsequent addiction to opiates, I thought that I had learned everything about them and how they work in users brains, what causes addiction, what the addiction is, etc. I was wrong. I definitely had not learned everything, there were some very, extremely important things that I had not learned about opiate addiction and how it effects users and then, what Methadone does to counteract and heal the wounds previous opiate use has caused.

Firstly, opiate addiction, unlike any other addiction, is a disease in every sense of the word. It is both a physical disease in which the user shows symptoms and illness, but a psychological one and most importantly..opiate addiction is a BRAIN DISEASE. Most other drugs we know of are only “psychologically” addictive and do not cause the brain disease that opiate addiction does. It is well known that opiate withdrawal causes intense discomfort, pain, diarrhea, muscle and stomach aches, restless leg syndrome and vomiting but it also causes a disease of the brain.

There are a lot of ways someone can BECOME addicted to opiates and then there is also predisposition to opiate addiction. Saying that one is predisposed to become an addict is in no way blaming the problem on someone other than the addict, its just a genetic, hereditary truth. First, let me explain the brain disease a little bit more and I will go into more detail about hereditary addiction.

Like most all other drugs, opiates have a direct effect on the dopamine produced in your brain, or..lets say…the lack of dopamine being produced in your brain. The opiate, like most all other drugs, causes a huge release of dopamine. Dopamine controls appetites for food and sex and after about 4 months of opiate use…without the opiates..your brain just doesnt produce dopamine anymore. PET scans conducted on the brains of heroin and other opiate addicts showed this. The addiction also has a direct effect on our Norepinephrin which controls the part of our nervous system that we do NOT have control over. When a questionable situation happens, its the release of Norepinephrin that causes the fight or flight mechanism to kick in. Opiate use suppresses this when one is under the influence of the drug so the user feels safe…literally like NOTHING can harm them. So when you dont have the opiates in your system..it triggers this re uptake of this “fight or flight” and causes intense, insane panic and anxiety.

Now, there are actual opioid receptors in our body that deal with feelings of safety and happiness. These receptors are in our spinal columns I think. There are 4 receptors that are directly involved in the effects of opioids. They are: Mu, Kappa, Delta and Sigma. Like a fucking fraternity, lol. Seriously though….the delta receptor deals with euphoria (the onset of euphoria when under the influence and the extreme taking away of euphoria when not under the influence), the sigma deals with depression (the taking away of depression when under the influence and the onset of depression when there are no opioids to attach to the sigma receptors). The Mu and Kappa deal with pain relief.

The last part of the disease is the effect that opiate addiction has on our endorphines. Our bodies have opioid receptors in them because our bodies produce chemicals naturally that can latch onto these receptors and cause similar effects to opiates and opioids. Those chemicals are called Endorphines. They are super similar to Morphine and they moderate our moods, promote pleasure and manage our reactions to stress. So when someone is high on opiates, it makes sense that they are very laid back, easy going, etc..and when they are not, they are anxious, and very defensive (which would explain why Soda would run from the police even without having drugs on him). The cessation of opiate use explains the often erratic and illogical actions of the addict. Someone who has never used opiates gets a normal amount of endorphines into these receptors, whereas addicts are constantly overloading the socket, so to speak. Four months of continuous opiate use causes the body to stop making endorphines on its own. So when you quit and have made it past the gut wrenching physical withdrawals…you have no dopamine or endorphines. And it takes a VERY VERY long time for the body to begin to make these on their own again with no help from an opiate. Thats why its so easy to go use again. Its not just a matter of “quitting.” If you think it is, then you obviously have never been in this situation and you need to shut the fuck up because you arent qualified to even form an opinion on this subject

So now, back to the hereditary nature of the disease. Research has now shown that children with one opiate dependent parent have a chance of inheriting a depression which, a lot of the time, leads to addiction when they are anywhere between 18-21 years of age because around this age, their dopamine will automatically begin to decrease and their body will stop making endorphines. This causes the person to be depressed and they will seek out ways to become happy. For some this means countless trial and error sessions with SSRI’s or anti psychotics or other pharmaceuticals that often times do nothing so the person goes on to experiment with self medication- illegal drugs…and when they experiment with that opiate..BAM. Theyve hit the mark. Now, a lot of these people dont have the money or the mens or the hook up to continue use..but for many…they do. And this is the start of an evil cycle.

Methadone helps this by speeding up the process in which your brain creates dopamine and endorphines again. Not only does it have a profound chemical effect in that it allows the brain to begin the process of building up natural dopamine and endorphines, but it takes the user off of the streets. Science and medicine are finally beginning to realize the huge effect opiates take on the human brain and the disease they cause, and our government is reacting accordingly by legalizing methadone. Methadone clinics take addicts off of the streets and into medical facilities where they are properly taken care of and supervised by trained medical professionals. Addicts no longer have to go out and commit a crime in order to just feel “normal.” Methadone is not just “replacement therapy,” it is also medical supervision, doctors visits, therapist visits, support systems…everything an addict needs to recover properly in an environment where opiate addiction is understood and treated for what it is and the user is not frowned upon and looked down upon as scum. The addict now has responsibilities he or she must take care of at the clinic, whether it is keeping up with their receipts and take home dose bottles in their lock boxes, to maintaining their appointments with their doctor, counselor and support groups.

There are a lot of high strung home makers who get bent out of shape when a methadone clinic is going to be built nearby. Let me inform you…

These people have no right to even have a sayso in the decision simply because they are judging based on the term “Methadone Clinic” and giving into preconceived notions, stereotypes and stigmas about clinics when in fact they know nothing because methadone treatment is 100 percent confidential and unless someone tells you they are on methadone..YOU DO NOT KNOW. If you sat outside a clinic and watched the people who came in and out of the facility…you would not be able to tell if it were just a normal doctors office, or lawyers office, or any other normal public facility.
Addiction does not discriminate, anyone and everyone can become addicted. Ive only listed like..two ways here. There are corporate addicts who maintain a 6 figure income who became addicted when their doctor over prescribed them, there are mothers who were given narcotic pain killers after the birth of their children, there are grandparents, parents, children, businessmen….people from all walks of life and these people are making positive change in their lives.

I am one of those people. No one would know unless I told them. Now I have.

Today I will be spending my day watching the coverage of the New Hampshire primaries. Yep. Im off today..and im VERY excited about this..COME ON BARACK COME ON MY MAN I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT U MY BOY FOR REALZ OK? Lmfao. Just kidding. He is my boy though…

So…expect multiple entries today updating you guys on this process. Im so excited. COME ON BARACK IM ROOTING FOR YOU!!

So far..Obama has about a 98% chance of taking NH…Clinton has about a 6% chance. At this point im not even WORRIED about them slack ass, lying ass REPUBLICANS because its looking more and more like AMERICA IS READY for something different (yeah, take that Hillary..how are you gonna talk about CHANGING AMERICA with fucking Bill Clinton standing behind you? No disrespect, Bill. But, your wifey is WACK. No wonder you got dome from Monica. I dont blame ya, dude).

Ugh. Im deliriously tired, seriously. I have been up…a long time and I intend on STAYING awake all day to see what goes on in NH..not to mention that down the street the new CAPTAIN D’S/DEL TACO is opening and YOU BETTER BELIEVE ill be up in that bitch WITH A VENGEANCE come 12pm.

Like I said in the last entry…I havent really found a presidential candidate that I have just fallen in love with. This election is really no joke. Its serious and I think that because of the horrible job that Bush has done in recent years has really caused people to go into, sort of, a political panic mode. By this, I mean that people are pretty much saying “ANYONE BUT BUSH!” and thats a pretty dangerous way to look at things. If there is ANYTHING positive Bush has done while in office, it has been to make people rethink who they vote for, but like most everything, that can backfire. While they are rethinking the parties they identify with, and maybe even reading the candidates websites or their Wikipedia article (lol), they are so excited about getting Bush out of office that they are still not weighing their options and taking the first thing that looks remotely interesting to them.

I am not registered into any party. I am not a registered Democrat, or a registered Republican and I dont identify with either of those parties. As a matter of fact, I dont identify with any political party. I am weighing all of my options and I am researching multiple candidates from multiple parties and I am trying not to restrict myself. There are things that I like about some candidates, and things I dont like from those same candidates and then there are some I just dont like all around. Its going to be a difficult decision for me.

I refuse to vote for someone who voted “yes” for the war on Iraq. This pretty much cancels out most of the current candidates, with the exception of a few free thinking ones. I dont believe at any time that there has been any reason why any one who claimed or claims to represent the American people to vote “yes” for an unjustified war against a sovereign nation. I also do not buy the bullshit excuse that just like the American people, politicians, and as a result some of the people now trying to be president of our country, were lied to. The minute I received wind of a war in Iraq, I said no. Anyone with half of a brain cell would have the same reaction. The bottom line is that the politicians who voted “yes” for the war in Iraq did not and DO not have the best interests of the American people in mind. They voted yes because this war is consistently keeping their wallets (and purses) fat with fucking cash. Thats the truth of the matter. Now, with that said..if someone truly, honest to God believes that some of these politicians and presidential candidates were tricked and lied to, then what the hell does that say about that presidential candidate? Who would want a President who is so easily duped and lied to? Perhaps someone who is easily duped and lied to? Hmm.

Now..onto Hillary Clinton. My problems with her go back a minute. I believe this was in 2003, or 2004 she made a joke about Mahatma Gandhi. She was reciting a quote by him and said that he ran a gas station in St Louis and that a lot of “wisdom came out of that gas station.” Mahatma Gandhi was one of the most important people in the 20th century, if not one of the most important people in history up until now. He was a hero and a martyr for the peace struggle. The effect that he had was not only felt in India, it was felt throughout the world. In a world ravaged by war, he was able to effect change non violently, peacefully. We arent talking about friends sitting around getting stoned making fun of Gandhi, we are talking about a Democratic Senator for New York who chose to reduce a hero in the peace struggle down to a racially motivated stereotypical joke, not in the privacy of her own home, but publicly for the whole nation, as well as the whole world to see. This person went on to now run for President of the United States of America. Im sorry, but to me, that says shitloads. I havent even touched on the fact that she was perpetuating a racial stereotype in front of the world. That is really where I lost my respect. We all say things in the privacy of our own homes, around our friends, we all make jokes about certain things, certain people or whatever. But, when a leader, a representative, a politician makes a professional decision to joke about someone who dedicated the larger portion of their life to non violently protest for peace, and then goes on to run for President..I dunno, what else are they going to make a mockery of? What else is going to be a joke to them? Is Nelson Mandela a joke? Mother Theresa? Are we going to joke and laugh and say Nelson Mandela was on welfare? Or that Mother Theresa raped children? Is it funny to stand in front of a nation and make a joke about how the Dalai Lama probably isnt a good driver because his eyes are so slanted he cant see the road or some bullshit like that ?Is it acceptable for a political leader, a representative of our nation, someone who represents ME and my country to perpetuate racial stereotypes, tell racist jokes? Not someone who represents me. Is it acceptable for a political leader, a representative of our nation, someone who represents ME and my country to stand in front of that nation and choose a major political and spiritual activist for peace to reduce to the butt of a racist joke? Not someone who represents me.

I think its important for a President to have a sense of humor, and I think that it is important that a President is able to identify with the people they represent, they need to have the gift of discernment and know what is not professionally acceptable to say AS THE LEADER OF OUR FUCKING NATION. We already have one racist moron for a president. We dont need another one.

Maybe I am being uptight. A President, to me, should be regal and almost royal. They should be a leader and these qualities are something that have gotten lost somewhere, maybe they got lost in all of the wars we have started, who knows?

Anyway…

There is a short monologue on the live Matisyahu album called “Live at Stubbs…” I believe it comes before the song “Refuge.” Well, basically Matisyahu is talking about how in the ancient days a king truly represented his people, he stood for his people, he was their artist, their poet, their lover, their warrior, their general on the front lines. Their KING, he was the WHOLE people. Now, we dont have that. We have politicians who are running only to propagate their political agenda that benefits no one but themselves, they dont care about the American people. I want a President who has Kingly qualities. Someone regal….and to be honest…..I dont really see much of that in the majority of the people running for President right now.

Well, I really went off on a tangent with this one, didnt I? Lmao. Maybe I will find a candidate that I would like to endorse. Dont get me wrong, I love Ron Paul and I am starting to really dig Barack Obama, but you are not gonna come to my blog one day and find it decked out in corny graphics and find entries of me praising one of them as if they are completely infallible. We need CHANGE in this country, and as I said in the last entry someone who has voted to keep this country in the middle of a war and who has no exit strategy to bring our poor troops HOME..thats not change. We dont need that.

We do not need a President who cant make up their fucking mind. Flip Flopping on the issues is something thats become like a sick epidemic among the political scene and it seems like something that very very very few can escape. I do not support any candidate who originally made pro choice arguments and even attended rallies for Planned Parenthood and then “revised” their opinion to only support pro life. We do not need a President who supports a “troop surge.” No more troops in Iraq. Bring our troops home. We dont need a President who doesnt support gay marriage or civil unions. I understand that gay marriage is something that is hard to swallow for most Americans, but so is a woman and a black running for President and look..WE MADE IT! I will not support a candidate who will not give me the right to do what I want with my body, I will not support a candidate who will not do everything in their power to bring our troops home ASAP. I will not support a candidate who doesnt at least support civil unions for gays and lesbians. I will not support a candidate who has publicly stated that homosexuality could pose a dangerous public health risk. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? And seriously…I dont want a President whos played on Law and Order. Jesus..Fucking…Christ.

I will not and cannot support a candidate who acts as if Israel has done nothing wrong in regards to the multiple Arab-Israeli conflicts that have gone down over the years and the ones that continue to go down everyday. I cannot support a candidate who completely ignores the plight of the Arabs/Palestinians just for Israels sake. I cannot support a candidate who seems to think there is no problem with systematically invading and imperializing nations like Iraq. There were no such thing as “Weapons of Mass Destruction” in Iraq. That was no reason to invade Iraq. You can lie to yourself all you want and say that these politicians were lied to, they werent. You can also tell yourself that there were crimes against humanity going on inside Iraq, and that Saddam was a horrible dictator who was enslaving his people. Thats true. This country has an interventionist foreign policy and eventually with this type of foreign policy you intervene during a situation where massive crimes against humanity, genocide, etc are being committed, and while I do not support an interventionist foreign policy, I cannot change our foreign policy and if there is ANY reason to invade another country, it would be to truly save and liberate its people. With that said, I cannot support any candidate who supported and voted “yes” to the war in Iraq, and who purposes that we continue to have a steady number of troops in Iraq, but who would NOT SUPPORT GROUND TROOPS in places and situations like Darfur. This only proves to me that the best interest of humanity is not being served by a candidate who supports ongoing efforts in Iraq. Only this candidates pocketbook is being served. I cannot and will not support a candidate who voted FOR the war in Iraq and has now flip flopped on that issue and reversed their position..but will still not admit to their voting for the war as a mistake and who will not apologize for such an IDIOTIC “mistake.”I cannot and will not support a candidate who believes “homeland security” is more important than human rights. I cannot and will not support a candidate who voted for the USA Patriot Act.

So, as you can see..I am one picky bitch. This election is far too important for me to just start humping some random candidate based on a few words theyve said and the fact that their surname isnt Bush.

Well, look, I have been writing this entry over period of like…4 hours or something like that so im sure thats why its so fucking long, lmfao. So..I am gonna mash the brakes here, finally, even though there is so much more that could be said about this issue.

Have Fun!

**Instead of responding in a comment…
There are a lot of situations, actually MOST situations where I completely agree that political issues arent so black and white. Life isnt so black and white. However, when we are discussing a vote to start a war, a war that would forever change everything about this country and how we are viewed worldwide…I really dont see any other answer other than NO! We arent talking about whether or not were gonna raise taxes, or approve a new bill thats not gonna leave any child behind. We are talking about war. War is something that is either necessary or isnt. Rarely necessary and most often times is not. Its not really a black and white issue..ESPECIALLY now that people are changing their minds about it. A war is not something that you quickly vote yes to, without proper research, and it certainly isnt something that you change views on depending upon the opinions of the people from whom you are trying to take money from to load into your campaign.

If millions of Americans with only the aid of the internet can see that war, in this context and in any other context, I dont see why any and every politician couldnt. Wait, I can see why…money. Like I said, this war is keeping peoples pockets fat. Our government and so many dishonest people in it are making shit loads of money off of government contracts being fulfilled in Iraq that there would be no reason in the WORLD to vote against it.

Its great to grow. Unfortunately, with the issues we are discussing, and how serious they are (the media has even influenced the publics opinion on how serious this issue is..its somehow ok to vote yes for a war….dont think so..not 8 years ago, not now) changing your opinion from somehow thinking it is ok, and a GOOD idea to invade a country, and then changing that opinion, that is not growth that is inconsistency on the  major issues at hand, perhaps one of THE most major issues at hand. If I thought that candidates were truly having a change of heart, I probably wouldnt be bitching right now. Unfortunately I think this is more of a case of…”Im gonna vote yes for this war because the short term personal benefits out weigh the long term risks, and..well..the guy next to me seems to think its ok” and now “well im gonna say I changed my opinion on the war because everyone else has changed their opinion on the war, so changing my opinion on the war now ….will get me votes so thats what im gonna do, but lets see how I can do this without getting rimmed too hard..hmm..oh yeah..im gonna propose that we leave troops in Iraq so that money keeps rolling in..oh yeah…and so I dont look like TOO much of a moron.”

I dont write my entries targeting anyone in particular. Everyone has their own personal reasons for voting and I am not pretending to know those reasons and im not really gonna pretend I give a fuck either. However, I am pointing out a scenario that I think may be a common scene in this country, or that I believe may be an issue facing voters. Im not making assumptions about why people are going to vote, and I am not judging anyone else based on why they are voting….because I dont know why they are. Im not assuming or making judgments, I am having an opinion  that belongs to me instead of someone else and in no way do I think that I am somehow the only American who has a valid reason to vote, or am I saying that the scenario outlined in my blog entry is why everyone in America is voting..thats ridiculous. If someone comes here, reads this entry, and feels offended at anything I have said and feels like maybe I targeted them in particular regarding my questioning peoples motives behind their votes, if they feel like I am talking about them…then they should be questioning themselves instead of me and my job is done. But, I dont think its difficult to see that I am in no way assuming the majorities reasons for voting, or judging those who I dont know regarding their reasons behind voting. If someone is voting because of the reasons outlined in this blog…lol…thats their idiocy, but I am holding out some shimmer of light that the majority of people in this country wont be voting based on the simple fact that whomever they vote for is gonna get Bush out. I am hoping the American people will prove me wrong.